Doing Daura-e-Quran alone at home is a unique experience. It has its own ups and downs. For the last couple of days I am not feeling well and so being drowsy and heavy headed most of the time... I felt like the excitement of Ramadan has begun to fade away from my heart… I tried my best to hold on to the “activities” but my heart refused to be a participant…
Daily in my checklist I see that I have “done” almost everything yet I know that my heart is not there… so will any of these deeds be acceptable to Allah?
I want so desperately to please him and yet this coming and going of my heart really makes it so difficultL
With this heaviness of guilt I sat down to do the 17th juz yesterday and the very beginning of it was like Allah telling me that He knew what was going on inside me… “Lahiyatan qulubuhum”. I realized maybe Allah was reminding me that I need to ask forgiveness for the many many years in which I had allowed my heart to be attached to petty useless activities… and I need to thank Allah so much that He has brought me out of that purposeless existence. Maybe I was taking this precious gift for granted and that is why from time to time Allah shows me the true reality of my heart so that I might pray extra hard for guidance and not just keep assuming that I am already guided.
But what about all the things which I do half heartedly or absent mindedly? What value can they have? And while these thoughts were crossing my mind came an ayat which made me come alive with hope…
So whoever does of righteous deeds and he is a believer, then there will be no rejection of his effort. And indeed, We record (it) for him.
What a wonderful solution… keep working and keep praying… even if it takes twice the effort... because every effort done with a sincere intention is recorded and will not be rejected. This is the miracle of Quran that Allah opens up the hidden flaws of a person and then also gives hope and promise of His mercy and forgiveness.
At the end this lesson was reinforced by the ayat of Surah Al-Hajj:
Wa jahidu fillahi haqqa jihadihi… huwajtabakum….wa’tasimu billahi huwa maulakum…
May Allah help us all to act on what we learn and may He guide us to make the best efforts for His sake… ameen
Ya muqqallibal qulub sabbit qalbi ala deenik
ya Musarriful qulub sarrif qalbi ala ta'atik

By: Shaheen Ahmed